Where Seedlings Grow

One of the traits acquired living on a farm is resilience. An animal dies, a crop gets eaten by gophers or birds, a late frost destroys your apricot fruit set. Resilience springs us back into shape after these defeats. We persevere, we travel on.

Resilience is important in marriage, too. Having faith your communication will improve, you won’t always be stuck in this reflector phase where you and your spouse pass anger and hurt back and forth. Resilience, so you feel your anger, you have your moment, you brace yourself for an uncomfortable conversation, you say you’re sorry and I love you, and you put down your mirror of protection. Resilience, until you can get to the point where you don’t reach for the tit-for-tat list.

In motherhood I rely on resilience a lot. I cannot let my mistakes dictate my day, my relationship with my children. I screamed? I used force? I said nasty things? Yes, I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Yes, I want to pack my bags and leave – you’ll be better without me. So far I haven’t done this. Resilience.

And grit. That crunchy stuff in your teeth when you eat a carrot or radish straight from the garden. According to Dr. Klein, author of The Dirt Cure, literally grit will give our children’s bodies resilience. Her book is all about the new normal of children’s health – chronic ear aches, stomach cramps, ADHD, autism, epilepsy, insomnia – and the cause, our low quality food. This book gives me the runs.

I read food labels. I do my best to not buy packaged, ready-to-eat foods. I buy organic when I can. I bake our bread, make muffins, feed my kids nuts as a snack.

Nuts. Beans. Seeds. Grains. Did you know they have “antinutrients” in them that can actually inhibit your body from absorbing minerals and vitamins? Apparently a diet rich in these can cause problems for children.

A nut is good though! It has fat, protein! Dr. Klein’s solution? Soak and sprout them. Soak and sprout them? Is this lady loco? My kitchen counters aren’t big enough to hold jars for sprouting nuts and seeds! I can’t fit these new tasks into my daily rhythm, I’m barely managing as it is! Am I harming my children?

Most nuts sold in the US – and all almonds – are irradiated to prevent contamination from bacteria. This process causes a loss of nutrients in the nuts, and the creation of unwelcome free radicals. Dr. Klein’s solution? Buy nuts from Spain and Italy which are not irradiated. Hold the phone – I’m to support local organic farmers and try to obtain locally milled fresh flour but also buy my nuts from overseas. What about my carbon footprint? What about the fact that I live in California, down the canyon from almond groves? This does not compute!

A quick check on Azure Standard shows that I can get truly raw cashews from the Ivory Coast. The Ivory Coast? Where do my grocery store cashews come from? I go check the label on the container in the pantry: India, Indonesia, South Africa, USA, Vietnam. Well, that’s trippy. Who new I was being such a globe trotter with one container of Signature Select cashews?

Dr. Klein is a big proponent of mushrooms and their healing powers. I have noticed over the past few years of shopping at Grocery Outlet the preponderance of bags of mushroom powders. Dr. Klein suggests using dried mushrooms in soup broth – she makes no mention of the effectiveness or quality of bagged mushroom powders. I looked up turkey tail, on she mentions is good for inflammation (as a mother I often feel inflamed). A pound of turkey tail – which I realize is A LOT of dried mushroom – is eighty dollars. Eighty dollars! Can I justify buying such a product if it will help me and my children? (Perspective: we don’t currently have a family car that seats all of us, only one bathroom for six people, and the window above my bed as a crack).

I did buy a container of a mushroom powder blend from Grocery Outlet. It is very earthy.

So I read Dr. Klein’s book and now I’m spinning. What to do? How to proceed? I’m already quite strict with our diet and food choices. Do I go down the rabbit hole further, risking turning into the Mad Hatter?

I will breathe. It’s all about balance and listening to our bodies, Dr. Klein writes. Resilience. Mental resilience to not feel like a failure because I don’t sprout my children’s nuts, seeds, and legumes. Resilience to make gentle shifts – I will soak nuts for baking and granola, and I will keep a regular jar of cashews for quick on-the-go snacks.

We are resilient. We are gritty. We will thrive.