Where Seedlings Grow

It’s Thursday December 11 at 2.12 am. The baby stirred, Jacob went up to check on him, then out to monitor our beloved milk cow, Ayelet.

Last Wednesday, December 3rd, Ayelet gave birth to two stillborn bull calves after laboring for over 48 hours. The calves were at least a month early, and it was an ordeal for her.

She had gone off her feed a bit as early as Sunday afternoon, and by Monday afternoon she wasn’t eating at all and clearly in some distress and discomfort.

We watched and waited. On Tuesday evening Jacob had his beef-raising cousins come over to help him assess. They all agreed she would calf within the next 48 hours but they had no way of knowing the calves would be stillborn.

Ayelet never recovered. An agonizing week has gone by of watching her continue to not eat. She briefly showed interest in the green grass and weeds growing on the property and her salt and mineral licks. She ate an offering of Romaine lettuce from the garden. Still, she refused grain and did not touch her hay.

In addition, she did not fully expel the afterbirth though she did not appear to have a fever.

On Tuesday she stopped grazing, would not eat lettuce, and laid down. She continued to drink water and did move around a small amount. When we went out to feed the bull on Wednesday at 4 o’clock she was still sitting up. By 8 when Jacob went to check on her, she was prone on the ground. And now at 2 am she is gone.

Do you know the story of Rachel and Jacob from the Bible? Jacob leaves his father-in-law’s house with his wives and servants. Rachel steals and hides her father’s idols but does not tell Jacob. When Laban pursues Jacob in search of his idols, Jacob swears they do not have them and in so doing accidentally curses Rachel to an early death in childbirth.

Do our words and actions have such power if we are G-d fearing people? Ayelet has had two healthy, normal births previously. We were given the gift of copious amounts of milk. Many were the time I told Jacob it was too much work, and that I did not want to deal with it. Once or twice in frustration Jacob responded, “Okay, I’ll go out and shoot the animal Rachel.”

Did we kill Ayelet? It is a thought that has haunted me this past week while facing the possibility of her passing. I do not know if I will sleep more tonight.